February 5, 2011

Corporate Jargon of the Day


"This is a No Regrets Investment"

no regrets investment

One of our business managers loves making this ridiculous statement whenever he's pitching his next "great" investment idea.  What's particularly obnoxious is how absolutely shitty his previous "investments" for the company have turned out.  What's really a shame is that we can't institute Singapore's caning policy.  If the investment goes south, and the company does end up regretting it, he'll be beaten mercilessly with a big cane.  Naturally as Chief Mockery Officer, I will be responsible for delivering the beat-down.  

(photo via Amorphia Apparel)

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Chief Mockery Officer is owned and operated by The Jaba Group.